Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Mommy Brain Dump

Today, I just feel like writing. My thoughts. My feelings. All about being a Mommy.

First, I have said it before and I'll say it until the day I die, I never knew my purpose in this world until I became a Mommy. I without a doubt was put here to be a Mommy. I am so thankful for my children. I am so thankful for the wonderful Daddy they have.

I often talk about all the goods in the life of being a Mommy. It's not all good and perfect and amazing. 99% of the time, yes it is, for me at least.

Since becoming a Mother I have struggled with a lot of anxiety. And I mean a lot. It finally got the point where I had to take myself to the doctor. I had an episode with dropping Drew off at school where I could not see him walk in the door. Before I pull off in the mornings I always make sure I see him go through the door. This specific morning I did not. I freaked out. Pain attack in the parking lot driving off. I text another Kindergarten teacher who I am friends with. He said he did not see him in the gym, but he was sure he is was fine. I was sick. I could not breathe. I wanted to turn around and find him. I emailed his teacher. She replied quickly saying he was just fine sitting in her classroom.

I knew the whole thing was ridiculous. The way I was acting was embarrassing for myself. It was at that point (and many other instances before that) that I KNEW I needed help. I could not live like this the rest of my life.

I 100% got a whole lot worse after I had kids. Especially after I had two kids. I made fun of myself a lot, but in reality it was a real problem that I had been struggling with and it was time to talk to someone.

Now after being to the doctor three different times since that instance I am sooo much better. Not all the way, but I can see a HUGE difference in the way I am and act. I do not want to be stereotyped as a "crazy person that is on medicine the rest of her life", but by gosh, that is who I am. I am not ashamed to admit it. I have anxiety. I am on my way to fixing it.

Justin and I talk very frequently about having another baby. After suffering a surprising miscarriage in August of last year, we knew we wanted another baby. After being put on this medicine though I asked the doctor if I could take it while I was pregnant. The most awful answer I could expect: "No." So we have put a major halt on talking about another baby. In fact, Justin talks about it more than me and I'm like "No! We are not having another one anytime soon." Hahaha.

I can not go back to that point in my life where I was in full anxiety/panic attack mode. I just can't.

Other things I struggle with as a Mommy is worrying way too much about what others think of my kids. Anytime we get together with family or friends I am always telling the kids to be on their best behavior. I do not want them to be the kids that act up or are in trouble. But I have to realize they are just kids. They are going to hit. They are going to push.  They are going to not share their toys. Getting in trouble for that and learning what is right and wrong is all part of learning and growing up. I have to remind myself that all kids do this.

Sometimes, I need to give them a little more credit and realize they are only 5 and 3. Especially Drew. I am so so so guilty of treating Drew older than what he is. Mostly because Dylan is the "baby" in the family. I find myself feeling so guilty for getting on to Drew about something that clearly a 5 year old does not understand.

As a Mommy, you need breaks. I agree to that. I am so envious of other Mother's who are okay with leaving their kids for more than two days at a time for a trip. I just can't, nor do I want to. (Not that I disagree with parents leaving their kids. Like I said, I am envious of them.) I would love nothing more for Justin and I to take a week away for a way overdue honeymoon or a week long trip with friends to Mexico. I want to spend every waking moment with with my kids though. My Mother tells me all the time that I need to let ago a little bit. They need their overnight stays with the grandparents. I want them to have that strong close relationship with them. But I also do not want to share them! Ha. That goes along with my anxiety though.

I love being a Mommy. I love the way the kids tell me they love me. I love their kisses and hugs. I love watching them do the things they love. I love sitting down and reading books and teaching them new things. I love it all.

I never knew I could love someone so much until I had Drew. I never knew I had enough love for yet another baby, Dylan. I never knew I would fall  more in love with them every single day of my life.

I swear, to all ya new Moms out there, you think you love your babies now. Wait until they get older. You just fall more and more in love. There are so many fun new stages. Drew is an awesome little stage right now where he is developing close friends. He has those friends over and goes to other friend's houses to stay. It is so sweet.

And Dylan...he is just in an ornery stage where he keeps me laughing daily.

And what would a great family be without a great Dad. Justin is an amazing father. He does things daily that drive me absolutely crazy, but he is just a wonderful Daddy. They boys love him with all their heart.

I want to be able to look back and reflect at where I was as a Mommy at this point in my blog aka diary is where I can do that. 

That's my Mommy brain dump for the day... :)

Brista Barrington

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Disney Recap (Time to go Home)

The last day is finally here...
So sad to go home.
This was the BEST Disney World vacation we had yet.
Every year we always end the trip with breakfast at O'Hana. I LOVE this place.
The food is awesome. Which is saying a lot since I am not a fan of Disney food.
It's a perfect way to officially end the trip.
If you have never been to Disney World and have kids. Heck, even if you don't. I feel like you must do it once in your life.
Yeh, it's not made for some people but it is all so magical and neat and fun and amazing!!! :)
It's perfect for all ages. Drew's first trip he was just shy of turning a year old and Dylan was not even a year old and they both still got to do everything we did except for the roller coasters, obviously.
The ONLY, and I say ONLY, thing I am not a big fan of is the food. I complain about it every year. Granted, there are some awesome places to eat, but I feel like they could step their game up in the food department! Just my opinion.
Well, that's a wrap for the Disney trip. After this little breakfast we got in the car and headed home!
We made it to Chattanooga where the puke decided to re-visit. This time with Drew. Then decided to stay with me for a week. Yay.
Thanks again for a wonderful trip Ba & Pawee!!
More Disney Recaps
Brista Barrington

Disney Recap {Day Six}

Day Six
We spent all day on Day Six at Magic Kingdom. The weather could not have been any more perfect.
The kids wore their "themed" hats again. So Mommy was not alone in wearing the Minnie ears every single day. Ha.
They stood here forever just letting me snap away. Love them for that!
We had a lot done pretty much by this point. So we decided to do some things that we had not done the plain ol' People Mover.
And we rode the Teacups one last time. Sad moment.
And we ate even more Mickey Ear chocolate bars...(of course)
Then came the most fabulous way to end a trip to Disney World...
but before...I just love this one of Daddy and Dyl waiting in line for Belle's Story Time.
So ya know Belle's new Story Time was a MUST do. Her story time is actually an interactive play that the kids get to join. Little did I know Drew would get picked to play THE BEAST!!!
You can only imagine my expression and excitement at the time he was chosen. Did these people secretly know that Beauty & the Beast was my fav??!??!
I tell ya, it's that Disney Magic! :)
He did GRRRREEEAAT!!!!!!
I can not wait to edit our Disney video and show y'all!
He first had to jump and act like he scared her. Success!!!!!!!
Then he got to ball room dance with her. Seriously, this brought me to tears. My gosh this boy is so grown up. It was such a special special moment. One I will never ever ever forget.
Best. Moment. Ever.
We met up again with Drew's best friend, Parker and family for a few hours.
These kids are inseparable.
Then the day was over. Gone. It seemed as if it all went by way too quickly.
We went back to the room, packed, and headed out for our last dinner just the four of us at Whispering Canyon.
We actually had plans to meet up with another family this night, but we all go so busy we had to cancel the reservations and never got to meet up with them. So we had to decide kinda last minute where to eat.
We decided Whispering Canyon because we knew we liked it and knew the boys would love yelling for the ketchup.
We ended up with 26 bottles of ketchup on our table. Hehehe. The boys thought it was so fun.
If you do not know what they do here, when you need ketchup, your waiter/waitress YELLS and I mean YELLS along with yourself and others "WE NEED KETCHUP!!" Then you take ALL the ketchup to the table. So, we got our ketchup and then took all the ketchup to the next family that yelled for it. Such a neat thing.
That was it. We went home and headed for bed. It was sad knowing it was our last night there.
And ya think I was overreacting over Dylan being obsessed with his balloon. Look here...
The balloon even needed to sleep with him.
See ya later Magic Kingdom! Can not wait to come back soon!!!!
More Disney Recaps...

Brista Barrington

Disney Recap {Day Five}

Day Five
Oh Day Five. What a great day, day five was.
Justin woke up earlier than the boys and I and headed out to Animal Kingdom for early Magic hours. I am not a big fan of "The Yeti" roller coaster, so I was totally okay missing out on riding it. And it was too cold to do raging rapids and get soaked with water.
We had breakfast reservations at one of the best Disney Character breakfast meals. Tusker House.
It's another one of my Disney Must Do's!
I do not even know if I have mentioned that there was 13 of us that went. The whole Barrington Fam. Justin's parents treat the whole family to Disney World when I child turns three, so this year was Dylan's trip. Probably the last one we all go as a whole family. :(
Donald and all the grandkids...
Again, Tusker House is one my favorite places for breakfast. They have everything you can imagine including the awesome Mickey waffles...
And what's more fun that Mickey and Goofy interrupting your breakfast for some chat time!
During the character breakfast's they do lots of dancing and parades around the restaurant. Mickey tried to get Dylan to join but he was playing his shy card.
Love these three amigos.
And of course what is a trip to Animal Kingdom without a Safari ride?!
Another one of my TOP Disney Must Do's...The Lion King Show. My most favorite show by far at all the parks.
After the show we headed over the DinoLand for some games and more rides.
The boys were begging us to swim, so we headed out from Animal Kingdom to get some swim time in. Animal Kingdom is definitely a 1/2 day park for us.
The weather was the perfect temperature the whole time we were there, but not the perfect temperature to swim. Holy Moly it was COLD! The things you do for your children. Why is it temperature does not phase them at all when swimming??!?!!
The Art of Animation resort also had a water fountain area play park kind of thing for the kids to run around and play in which the kids thought was a blast!
We went back to the room, took HOT baths, and rested up a bit to head out AGAIN!
I do not know how I had this much energy to just keep going and going. It must be Disney Magic. :)
After eating at ESPN Club on the Boardwalk I HAD to get back to Magic Kingdom to see the Castle's fireworks. HAD TO!
It's my favorite favorite favorite thing to do. How many times have I said this?! Ha.
I think the parks are gorgeous at night time!
How stinkin awesome do the fireworks look just from this one simple picture I took. It is themed up with music and it is just so amazing to me.
I felt complete once I seen the fireworks! :)
One of Pawee's favorites is It's A Small World, so we headed on over thataway to ride his favorite ride with his grandkids.

We got in some Carousel time.
And of course some MORE Teacup time...
This day was a great day! We accomplished a lot in just one day! Including this crazy kid doing "ta da's" in front of the castle.
You can probably tell we spent a lot of time at Magic Kingdom. There is just so much to do and see there. And I think it is the most gorgeous park! We also watched the lights parade which is fun to see too. The parades were a favorite this year!
Until the next morning Magic Kingdom! :)
Other Disney Recaps:
Brista Barrington