Thursday, July 11, 2013

So Surreal...

I can not believe tomorrow will be one week since Dad's accident.

Everything has been so surreal.

Thinking about it still makes me sick. Talking to people about it when people ask still makes me cry. I can't help it. He's my Dad. Never would have I ever imagined something like this would happen to my family.

I tell my sister's all the time when we argue & bicker: "Something bad is going to happen and we need to be sure we are all getting along."

Last Friday night we were at a birthday party. The kids were having a blast. In fact, Drew passed the swim test to be able to jump off the diving boards in the deep end. So proud of him.

Sometimes, do you ever get in those moods where you just want to throw your phone away and not answer any calls and texts? I do. I happened to be in that mood Friday night. I left my phone in the swimming bag with the kids stuff. I wanted nothing to do with it on the way home.

We got home from the party and I was getting ready for bed. I asked Justin to get my phone out of the car. As I was in my closet changing, I hear him say "Kerri (my step-mom) is taking your Dad to the hospital."

My first thought was that he had a heart attack. I immediately called her. She said he had been in an accident at his farm and was being life flighted.

I could not tell you what I did in the moment. All I remember is being numb. I could not feel my legs. Or maybe I could because they were shaking. I yelled at Justin that we had to go NOW--my Dad was hurt.

One of the worst phone calls of my life. A phone call I never wish upon anyone. I honestly do not even think I cried at that moment. It was not until we got into the car to start driving that I lost it. Justin had called his Mom to tell her and I just put my head in my hands and starting balling.

On the way to drop the kids off at my Mom's. Drew heard me crying, so he started crying asking if Grandpa was dead. At this point I had no idea how serious it was. I was just imagining the worst.

What did I say to him last? Did I tell him I love him? What would I do without him? Drives my Mom crazy, but I have always been a Daddy's girl. I just have.

We live about two hours away from where they life flighted him. It was the longest and the most quiet ride ever. I was just sick to my stomach.

Finally, I got a hold of my step-mom and just cried "is he going to make it?" She re-assured me he would.

We got to the hospital and I went straight back to him. He was out of it. He was in so much pain. It was unbearable to watch him. I remember holding his hand telling him to squeeze it if he needed to.

Never would I have ever imagined I would be sitting next to his bed while he was covered in abrasions in so much pain holding his hand praying that he would be okay.

It truly is an indescribable feeling. One I never wish to experience again with any members of my family.

He broke his leg above and below his knee. He also broke his arm. He has abrasions on his body. He hit his head but the Doctor re-assured that he had no head trauma. Praise the Lord.

It could have been a whole lot worse. His friends he was with went to get the vehicle that he crashed. They said basically the tree he hit saved his life. If he hadn't hit that tree he probably would have went spiraling down 15 feet. Sickening.

We were supposed to spend the day at the farm with him the next day. I do not know what I would have done if I was there during the accident. Thank God, I was not.

Thank goodness for his friends too who got the tire off of him that had him pinned down. They also drove my step-mother to the hospital since she could not ride in the helicopter with my Dad.

Saturday morning he had surgery. Thankfully, they fixed his arm the same time they fixed his leg in one surgery. He is basically put together by rods and screws. He has a rod all throughout his leg with some screws. And some screws and some other hardware as well in his arm.

It has been a long week. I never would have thought I would be helping my Dad out the way I have his past week. He started physical therapy at the hospital just a day after the surgery. He is still in some pain, but is working toward getting better and better each day.

Dylan went to the hospital with me last night. We heard the helicopter coming in and watched out the window. So scary thinking that was My Dad less than a week ago.

It is going to be a tough long road ahead of him. He hopefully "fingers crossed" should be headed to rehabilitation (he says for us to call it that because rehab sounds like he is on drugs or something, ha) tomorrow in St. Louis. But we have been saying that since Tuesday. But this time I am really hoping for tomorrow.

He will get 24/7 care there. He is supposed to be wheelchair to bed bound for a month. His breaks are on opposite sides which make it difficult to walk or hold himself up. He basically has to learn to walk again. I do not know if it is going to be longer than a month or shorter than a month before he can leave rehab. Then he will need help at home for awhile.

I am just ready for him to get settled into rehab so we know some more answers and some more of a time line.

If you ask him, he says he will be better sooner rather than later. He needs to keep that motivation and those thoughts in his head.

I pray for a speedy recovery! He has to walk my sister down the aisle for her August wedding!

I do not know if that will happen though. He may be in a wheelchair for it. But at least he is here. He is ALIVE. And he is just going to get better and better each day.

Thank you all so so so much for your thoughts and prayers. The people who have messaged me and called me just to check on him and me have been beyond amazing. I have some amazing friends and family I tell ya.

I also have to say...always remember to tell your family you love them. You really never ever know when something could happen. My Dad is a very "oh, I will be okay. Nothing will happen" kind of guy. It happened out of no where. He has been riding ATV's for a long time. It happened on a normal busy working/birthday party kind of day of mine. You just truly never know...

Love you Daddy'O! This is your one time in life you can scare the shit out of me. No more. :)

Brista Barrington

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